Dealing With Death
It’s never easy dealing with death when someone you know or someone who’s close to you passes away. There are emotions on the rise, funeral expenses to pay, possibly children to look after, and many other tasks that you have to deal with that you may feel like all is hopeless. Anger and frustration may set in and possibly even denial. We all go through the grieving process, though, when dealing with death of a close friend or loved one.
Even though it’s all about eventually moving on from the sadness, chances are that you still want to hold on to every little shred of reminder, picture, and memory that you have. When my grandmother died, it was all I could do in order to hold on to all the letters, pictures, and times that we shared together. That being said, there are a few things that will be helpful that I and others have gone through in order to get through the grieving process in a smoother and perhaps less painful way.
The Loss is Real
First and foremost, the issue that you’ll have to face is that your loss is real. It is true that many people go through feelings of denial where they may falsely believe that their loved one is still here. Or perhaps they may still be in disbelief and are unwilling to confront the feelings of loss concerning the other person.
Whatever the case may be, a difficult thing to realize when dealing with death is that your loss is real and your loved one won’t be coming back. This doesn’t mean that you should move on completely immediately by no means. However, accepting that your loved one is gone will help the grieving process go smoother; confronting your friend or loved one’s death as a personal loss will allow you to get through your life much easier.
Feeling the Loss
Once you have accepted that your loss is real, it’s completely okay to express whatever emotions or feelings that you’re having. As mentioned above, the death of my grandmother was terrible as she and I were terribly close. In the beginning I felt angry, kept questioning why her death happened, and probably cried as much as anyone could in a lifetime.
Feeling angry and sad is very much part of the grieving process and no one should fault you for feeling the way that you do. On the other hand, it’s also important to keep your actions in check if you do get over-emotional. An example of this would be normal interactions with your family and friends. If you’re lashing out at your loved ones irrationally and showing outbursts of anger, you may just consider getting professional help to get through the pain and feelings of loss.
Trying to Move On
A difficult part of the last stages of the grieving process when dealing with death is the moving on part. It’s always going to be difficult to move on from the death of a loved one. There are so many great memories, laughs, and occasions that you’ve shared that you are too afraid to move on.
Part of the grieving process, however, involves acceptance of the death of your loved one. By finally accepting that your loved one is gone, especially if you’ve been grieving in isolation, you should be able to get to the point where you are active enough to go to work, any social functions, and at least be with the friends and family that you still have.
Even though it may seem like the whole world has changed with you’re dealing with death of a family member or other loved one, going through the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel the loss is crucial to moving on. By disallowing feelings of denial to settle in, accepting your loved one’s death, and putting a special place in your heart for the one who has passed, the grieving process will be made a whole lot easier!
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