Dealing with Guilt

Guilt usually does not exist on its own. It is an emotion that is dependent on another painful emotion. In most cases it accompanies sorrow, grief or the usual loss that we feel on a day-to-day basis.

Guilt is the inadequacy of our self esteem; the shortage of our pride, which is due to the loss of something valuable to us, which can be either material or immaterial.

In most cases this inadequacy of our self esteem called guilt is a negative feeling due to the negative impact of the wrong choices we made in achieving a particular end. But if we face our guilt and realise the positivity associated with it, we will avail ourselves the opportunity to correct our wrong ways and grow spiritually and mentally.

So feeling guilt is very normal. In fact, it is a phenomenon that is meant to be, but the mistake we will make is not to deal with it in the appropriate way. Such as to wallow in self pity…., or embrace anger so as not to humble ourselves in the face of a grave mistake we made, or subjecting ourselves to ignorance so as to deny the fact that we made a wrong choice.

Every choice we make in life is not always the right one. Some do not have the grave consequences that usher in the self loathing otherwise known as guilt. However, others backfire in a way that we will wonder if the world is not at its end. When this happens it is best for us to accept it and embrace it, even with its grave consequences.

By doing this we will be accepting the responsibility of our mistake and concurrently correcting or salvaging whatever is left to be salvaged. But the advantage of this is that we will speed up the process of guilt (which is inevitable) while we learn our lessons from it; lessons that will fortify us mentally against such future occurrences.

However, never make the mistake of being overly responsible in the face of guilt, whereby you will feel obliged to take on the responsibilities of others. This will only overburden you (because guilt is essentially a burden, a cross that every choice maker must bear if all goes wrong).

By doing this, you will not learn any lesson since it is not YOUR mistake, but you will excellently6 saddle yourself with the negative emotions that will add immensely in lowering your self esteem. In the future, such people will have little confidence in themselves and will be to wary to make an impressive first step in achieving their aim, simply for the fear of failing cataclysmically has they have done in the past.

Understand the grace that accompanies guilt. Guilt will register in your mind the need to prove yourself and make amends. In short, guilt avails you the opportunity of a second chance. So accept your faults and learn your mistakes, so that by the time another opportunity presents itself you will prove yourself better and wiser.

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• JACOB